Can you fake it till you make it? Is that really a thing?
Maybe Amy Cuddy is right: “fake it till you become it.” Can we fool our minds and spirits into magically being more confident or is it something you’re just born with? Well, according to Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, the answer is “Yes.”
While it’s true that some people are born with a higher inclination towards confidence, it’s not something you simple have or don’t have. Even those we see as confidence masters have their moments (if they’re honest) when they feel a little uncertain. It’s natural.
When it really counts, we need to draw on the confidence that exists within us. The more we practice using it, the easier it becomes to find it, and find it more frequently. So, how can we feel more confident in any situation without faking our way through it? There are three things we can do that change how we approach situations when we aren’t quite feeling like enough:
1. Know your value
When is the last time you thought about what makes you great? What skills, experiences, and qualities do you bring to every interaction? I’m not even talking about differentiation or perception here. You are valuable – we all are. Every day you get up for a reason, hoping to contribute to something or someone. When you can connect why you do what you do with who you do it for, you can start to know your value. When you know your value, you get really confident with your identity. Then you’re ready for step 2.
2. Dress the part
Steve Jobs didn’t always wear a black turtle neck. I’m sure when he was younger, he wore all manner of t-shirts and khakis. Then, he didn’t. That black turtle neck uniform said something about his brand, about the value he was bringing to the table and for whom. When we dress intentionally, our appearance impacts our attitude. And appearance plus attitude affects our confidence. When you feel good about how you look, you can’t help but project confidence. Matching underoos? Yes, please.
3. Own your space
Are you renting your space or do you own it? Take a moment right now to notice how you are sitting (or standing, you standing desk aficionados!). Are your shoulders back? How’s your posture? You’ve heard of the super hero stance. Ever tried it? The opposite is an arms-crossed, shoulders-rounded appearance – body language telling the room and whoever is in it that you need permission to be there. You DON’T! You are in the room for a reason, and you were invited on purpose. The space you take up belongs to you so OWN IT!
So… How do you feel more confident? What ways do you invest in your future and career to get you to where you need to be? What is your go-to outfit to help you dress the part? Comment below and let me know what you think.
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Tara Lynn is a leadership development speaker, Fascinate Certified Advisor, coach, and writer. She brings polished, insightful strategies to companies and individuals, helping them clarify their unique value and rise to higher standards of success. The practical tips and tools she shares get her clients from point A to point C while solving for the mysterious point B.